Times like these
As I brush my teeth getting ready to sleep I look at my face and suddenly get trapped in the moment. It looks like one of those trips is about to take place in a blink of an eye that travels years and decades.
I ask myself what happened many times? and get the answers raw, no cushions just facts, no pretends just reality biting back. Are you happy? I ask, I am! came back my reply, with a dash of sarcastic doubt painted over it, at least I am.. I comfort myself.
So many people yet so many close, why do I distance myself from others while I can get closer?
As I sit in my minds window isle getting ready for my trip, I see the country sides of some european trip some time back, the orange deserts of Morocco nothing but smiles and good times. I scan across the view and see a younger me asking what next and I laugh back “if you only know what’s coming young man”.
I never was the silent kind, somewhat shy, somewhat crazier than the norm, never liked people looking down on me for whatever reason, thats why I never do it. I learnt that friends can be a bad idea, and in other cases your life would mean nothing without them.
My walks alone were plenty on this earths diverse ethnicities and breathtaking man made cities. I always loved nature and beauty wherever that may be, I used to follow travel magazines, then I charted my own waters. I go wherever I feel my soul aches.
I played so much I feel lucky. Life goes on whichever path you take, fun or serious, if they both do the job then why fake it I say? I have always loved someone, such a poor thing this heart of mine, such tenderness, such lost potential.
A man like me has so many interactions and head on collisions I feel numb sometimes from drastic things that come back and haunt me in some form or the other, bring it on.
I sit typing, watching, reading, talking, chatting, day dreaming and then some more, only to come back for some more. I know my ignitions need invigorating, something special, something drastical and adventurous, to start that spark again and turn me on fire.
Being content with oneself is something and satisfied is another thing you know. I am content and believe after many years that certain things need to take place, affecting other things to make a move, so I keep bumping and moving.
Some say I’m lazy, others crazy and insane, some call me wasted talent, others might say Im just a happy go lucky guy strolling through life for free, nothings for free.
The trip speeds up and I can see so many faces streaming in front of my eyes, smiles, cries, happy and angry faces, old and young, beautiful and ugly everyone was invited.
Every step of the way I learnt something about myself from every interaction, what a complicated individual we become, so I make things simple and just be me at any given moment to cruise smoothly.
I know you think its me, you can’t see things from my point of view, I might be confused, but never totally, just a little bit, too hard to think all day, resting ones mind brings freshness to ideas. Keep it fresh.
I do need to share with someone this mans travels and ideas, I need a lending ear and eye to see what beauty awaits us at time like these, we need to see that beauty surrounds us, what’s a normal day to that young boy in the hills is another mans paradise, where’s ours baby?
I hurt her, I never meant too, careless? yes, playful? for sure. Do I know a gem when I see one? Im the connoisseur. Do I take it for granted? sadly I do. Change takes place while we least expect it, then we just walk into it. Will I ever find another like you? another so true? if you go I’ll know, lets not and pretend we did.
My heart has become accustomed to storms, no one can survive everyday storms, what goes inside some is never apparent on the outside, so why judge? Does it mean I will die looking for another like you, just shows you how blinded some men are.
At times like these, when I sit alone instead of cuddling up beside you, sipping hot chocolate cause were kids after all and we can, watching some romantic comedy because love and laughter is like you and me, one scary movie for you, hugging me as if I wouldn’t run first, I love how you feel secure in me.
At times like this I wish you could be here watching me write this amazed that it really is.
Someone out there completes me. Someone out there needs me. Someone out there just felt me. If you’re out there, come closer, don’t be afraid, eventually this bad boy is yours.
Suddenly the toothpaste burns my mouth and I end my trip, so fast! so rich. Time to start a new chapter starting now.
mamdooh.alradadi sending kisses your way from the shores of Arabia on Sep in the year two thousand and eleven.
twitter: mradadi
Allah yesahelak u will find her , best of luck mamdooh .
I always analyze and contradict ur writings the reason behind that my admiration for ur writings and u know it this time I would love to give u an advise from me to u don’t leave something GOOD to see if u can find BETTER because once u realize u had the best ,the best found better stop playing and start living peace .