He never cared about the destination as much as the adventure that lies before each and every trip he takes. He seemed to love every bit of the way, he never complained, never complicated things when it was vacation time. He liked what people did in preparation for such vacations but never seemed to give it much thought.

All he needed was to become a world traveler, one that would set foot on one continent and not know where his second one would land him. All he cared about was 3 things; Location, location, location. The rest would be handled semi  automatically, things like budgeting, ticketing, hoteling, planing all made things a bit too complicated for him, besides he sucked at planing, and the travel agents were worse.

He would start his saving not too far out from the date of take off, he would have decided on the location well in advance and imagined what it would be like. He was never right in his imaginative world, he loved every bit of being wrong. Once he decides, the traveler starts the joy ride, even if it is 2 month’s away. The excitement grows with every page ripped off the calendar, his smiles seemed to grow, his health gets better, his eagerness to get things done sky rocket, his friends and family can also feel the vibes.

As the days diminish and the picture perfect collects the missing pieces he thrives. He can smell the jet fuel at the airport and the messy counters, he knows that behind that mess and security exists freedom and deep soul searching dives. The sun or snow do not affect his feelings, they only ignite the fire, increase the heat of the final moments.

The night before his travel, you cannot find him or track him down, he is busy doing his favorite last minute shopping, all the little unimportant things that he can find wherever he goes, he just loves it. his bags are all packed, not closed yet, he knows what to wear, what attitude, and what things will be with him in his casual jeans. His Ipod is loaded, his books on stand by, his sport shoes and most of all his passport.

He arrives at the airport just in time to relax a bit after passport and baggage control, armed with his boarding pass that spells London on it, he is ready to take off. He walks around his airport lounge smiling at every loving soul he lays eyes on, his tension levels already low, are fading away into a comforting laid back attitude, he needs it. He spots his gate, locks the info, gets there slow and steady, nothing but his carry on, passes his boarding, enjoys that ripping sound the land steward makes when he gives him back his seat number.

He enters through the tube checking the faces that will be transported like little ants across countries on a giant bird we call a plane. He seats himself comfortably at the aisle seat he loves best, he is greeted with a nice smile and some refreshments, he sips slowly observing the boarding humans, he smiles at the ones making a fuss about their requirements, sometimes I feel sorry for these hostesses, but today is not one of those days, I have to relax my every single sense to sub zero levels.

He takes a paper, scans it fast, throws it away in front of him, no news for me for 30 days, only news of activities, shows, nightlife, day life, afternoon life, lazy life, wonderful. The plane takes off, he reads through half his book then doses off, he is suddenly tapped on for lunch, he accepts with a smile, the guy next to him growls something at the hostess for waking him up, he manages to go back to sleep after finishing the first book.

Many people forget all those fine details he thinks, he then is notified that its 30 minutes to landing, People start to change looks, freshen up, perfumes blast in the air, girls unwind and suddenly look great, guys fresh as ever, everyone has an agenda to follow. More reasons for smiling some more he thinks, he quickly takes a glance to get an idea what the airport size and magnitude is like.

They land safely, the temperature 16 degrees, a bit windy, some rain expected, perfect he thinks, London as usual. Its been a while he thinks, avoiding the peoples choice has made him forget about this city and country for a while, finally he thinks. They deport and are now moving on the long escalators, faces, more faces, young old, teen, you name it, they are everywhere, simply amazing.

The shopping at airports is one his favorite things he does in life, its so thrilling and rewarding, all the varieties and people selling on the spur of the moment amaze & tickle his fantasies. he goes to the book store, grabs more than 5 magazines, a new book, a detailed event magazine, a chocolate bar, a box of chewing gum and maybe a CD or missing gadget, its all boy fun he thinks. Go ahead spoil yourself, nobody does it better than you.

The subway is the way to go in London, or get hit with a high Taxi fare as usual? Maybe a Taxi he thinks, he stops the funny looking black Taxi, that have kept him guessing what make these things were ever since he was a young boy? He sights a double decker bus and the accent is so English. Where to sir? he gives him the address and off he goes, he loves the Taxi window sight seeing and would always break a conversation with the cities most educated living souls, Taxi Drivers.

After he gets the scoop, he arrives at the Hotel, signs in, is led to his quarters, he unpacks, sends stuff to the housekeeping for pressing and hanging, a no brainer way is the only way to go n this and every trip. He removes every thing he is wearing, heads for the toilet for that hot shower he is dying for. The sound of the water hitting on his head awakens his senses, he just loves the aromatic gels these hotels carry, he indulges for another 10 minutes. When he is done, he lays on the bed in his towel, imagining the possibilities and what lies ahead.

He hits the on button on the remote control and zooms in to a local station, radio that is, more fun and music, he keeps it on till he falls a sleep for a quick power nap. Wakes up very slowly, opens his eyes, looks at the ceiling and light outside, remembers he is no longer home, smiles some more.

The rest of the trip can be found in his daily diary that is said to be locked up in his deepest vaults that is safely placed at one corner of his head.

A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.

John Steinbeck

I’m standing in the passport line in Bangkok after a very long business trip in the asian wonderlands, and I’m striking a conversation with the guy in front of me boasting and showing off my latest visits to Tokyo, Seoul, Taipei and Bangkok. Suddenly this cool American 30 something guy kills me right there and then with his trip details! “ Well you see I’m here for as long as they allow me, How long do you think they will give me on a an airport tourist visa?” “ I guess you can get away with 30 days”” I wish I could stay for 6 weeks I have a lot to cover” So, one thing leads to another and the line is long and slow, it turns out this young man has just sold his shares in a major internet company in the US and is traveling the world for 2 years! He had covered every country from Australia & Japan to Thailand in the last 6 months or so. Thats what I call travel my friends.

As I was listening to this wonderful travel details in a nutshell, I couldn’t quite get over the feeling of a sad truth we have in our part of the universe, sorry planet( I was always a bad student in math :-p). In each country, the people or citizens of that country have a certain travel pattern they take every year. In the west there is no pattern, it is more of a discovery of our wonderful planet. Budgets are decent and well studied & planned early before the time to travel arrives. They would save and really stretch their travel Dollars or Euros to cover as much milage as possible. They are professional users of Expedia Travel and cheap tickets.com, They take advantage of their airline & credit card miles.

Now, enough of the good life. Let’s go to the ultra good life, ladies & gents I am about to reveal the naked truth on our unique, repeated, no brainer travel routes and destinations and everything in between.

First off, let’s start with the budget: There is no budget. Grab as much as you can, in whatever form of cash or credit cards, by hook or by crook, get that Money!

Financial Techniques used: One of the famous ways to get fast cash in the country was the quick        “ Buy a car on installments and sell transaction” Here the buyer is in no need of a car, he needs cash to travel. You need an escape goat to complete the transaction, by this I mean a very close friend that will endorse you at the bank or car company( by signing the complete installment documents in his name as a guarantor). After the purchase of the USD40,000- car, it is sold for USD35,000- on the spot with a small loss of only USD5000- in less than 3 hours!( who said I was going to pay anyway says the buyer!). Now let’s not go to the dark area where this close beloved 12 year old friend goes to jail for being an idiot to trust his only friend, we are talking about the journey here.

Clothes used during travel: VERSACE, POLO RALPH LAUREN, ARMANI SUITS( in summer for the pool), anything that looks exactly like the catalog, I swear I used to see them holding the catalog of this years fashion, and say proudly to the salesman” I will have one like this page, and one like that page, and give me another catalog I need more”. They would cost on average a trips worth to any normal human. Remember, he sold the car and is not paying for it( excuse my exaggeration, not all sell cars, other just ask for it or beg well in advance of summer).

Now the fun part, all the travel agencies in the country are fighting for 5 destinations for 80% of the population: Marbella, Cannes, Paris, London, Cairo/Beirut in that exact order. And here’s the funny part, when you ask them where they are going they try to misguide you. “ well you see I don’t want to be where there is too many Arabs, something far and new”. All of them end up kissing as if its a holiday gathering back home in the streets on the champs elyses and Edgware road. OK Oxford street and Porto Bunos.

The most important thing for these poor suckers is to be seen, not to discover and enjoy the wonderful destinations that this round thing called earth has to offer. Prestige is the most important end result. It is very important that when he gets back home, he can boast for the 18th time in 18 years he has been to Marbella,Cannes,Paris,London,Cairo/Beirut( Repeated intentionally) and met Ahmed and Mohammed and saw the girls from the last 15 years on the same streets and night clubs. He also had a few meals at the Entrée cottes in Paris, and had the famous cannes fresh fruit ice cream and danced at Jimmies in Monte Carlo. He also shopped for some pair of shoes on Oxford street and got ripped off again at Edgware road for the third time!

Fake, Dumb and numb is what I feel when I hear their stories every year. The other funny thing that I don’t get is the financial planing they do to appear richer than life.Let’s say the budget for a 30 day trip  like this costs around USD30-40,000- the trick is to actually raise the average spending per day by reducing the total days

on vacation. So if you reduce it to 2 weeks, you would be spending $2700 instead of $1600/ day. Imagine what these smart travelers can do with the extra cash? I can’t believe I said smart there, I meant masterminds.

Now the car thing seemed to fade away, so the Banks jumped in and started vacation loans, the country needs housing loans and we give away vacation loans and credit cards, since there is  demand I have no problem with marketing such no brainer loans to people that need the brains to think!

The aftermath: Home sweet home, isn’t really that anymore. “Now I have to start rejecting and giving busy signals to my best friend! I can’t believe he is sending me messages stating that the Bank is calling and he is asking if I defaulted 3 installments, the nerve of these people! what are friends for!?” says the rich traveller of Arabia.

For a change people, just once try something new, I swear its cool and rewarding.

I wonder what it would be like if all these people were denied travel visas to these destinations? would they stay home or make me hate the Far East? or Africa? or neighboring countries to France or Spain… I wonder?

Enjoy the Journey I say.

Mamdooh Al-Radadi

me@mamdoohalradadi.com