I am not talking about a wedding here, Im talking about a totally other kind of maid, the famous house maid. You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them I say.In this part of the world it is almost unheard of to not have one, even if you are starving to death, I have to admit I missed them for a while. Being a single guy does not really qualify me for having the luxury of a maid, but what do you know I am a bi-product of this society, I fought away many things, but this one keeps hunting me down. While I was married I had 3 people working for me: A Driver, A maid/helper, and a Nanny.

No wonder I never saved a dime! The funny part is we are a family of 3 only in this household, yes 3. It is a no no to not bring this kind of help when married, she will dump you in a jiffy. Now to make things clear, in this country we differ in so many ways than the west. We are a lazy society by nature, not due to the scorching hot weather, by our nature. We opened our eyes and found a certain helper taking care of the cleaning and washing in our house.

Over the years the nationality changed as the incomes and discoveries of new lands grew. In my days, and that was long ago, they were the africans coming for pilgrims that performed haj and never left. They would come in during the day and leave at night for a small amount of money( I think it was comparable to today if we put in place inflation). All I can remember was a huge ball of human moving with grace from one corner of the house to the other cleaning and fighting with mom day in day out. My mom would fight with them, until they leave her lonely, then she would beg them to come back for another day, and another fight.

She would command her in every little detail, as if she was actually her slave. I don’t say this to point out a cruel treatment, absolutely not, that’s another story( not in my home thank god) actually they were family, the ones that had a chore to do every day. We then started witnessing in the 80’s the arrival of the first batch of asians to our shores. This was new to us, cleaner and smarter I was told. Educated also, that is where most of our young population gets there first home education these last 20 years or so.

Maids and drivers are every woman’s nightmare here. I bet that most women cannot and will not get married if no maid is available in her house. They cook and clean and take care of her children while she goes about her ways from day to week.

After the divorce we split up and she got her maid( the most amazing cook ever and handyman) and I got to share my girls Nanny, who doubled as a personal helper at home, so that meant I get my home cleaned and my clothes washed and ironed 50% of the week, not bad I thought.

Then one day my little girl outgrew her childish ways and started to think, she decides when and where she wants to go, even if she decides to dump me for her little cousin for a week or 10 days, then remembers me. So, I, of all people can not sit in a dumpster of an apartment like other single men, I would die. So I tried not to use or dirty anything for as long as I could take it, then the weekend comes, and with it comes chaos. The next day is a nightmare to me, I quickly make myself a coffee and wear my cleaning clothes( I dont have any) and get to work, starting at the kitchen and making my way to the other areas. yes, I do mop the floors and take out the garbage.

The people from the west are thinking is this guy showing off? yes I am, it is the worst habit you can have in our area of the world, laziness of the worst kind! I make freinds with the doorman so he can pass by daily to pick up the Garbage after the fight with my neighbor on the location of the dumpster. I have been a decent shopper of basic survival needs, called my mother to learn how to operate basic units in my house, like the washing machine and the microwave.

We have fell to the lowest levels of helping our selves in history, I can now state proudly that I can and will survive without a maid.For more than 12 months I managed, and now, I am finally rewarded with a maid, a helper, a saver, a wonder woman, a self help buster, a black magical woman, she came and saved me. Now old habits have kicked in again and I tend to lose myself from time to time, I actually tell people how happy I am these days. I am planning to throw a party for her soon.

Enough of the wise guys remarks, I have a question for all the newly weds and single guys and girls out there, the area I am referring to is from Saudi Arabia and all over the Gulf region, The neighboring Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Egypt to an extent, basically the Arab world. The question is as follows, Can you or will you do the following for the next 12 month’s or worse yet 3 or 5 years? all your life?:

• Wash the dishes?
• Wash the toilet till it sparkles, 3 times a day?
• Clean the clothes?
• Iron the clothes, especially those Long thobes your husband wears and his head gear?
• Vacuum the carpets and shine the floor with dettol?
• Change the bed covers daily and wash them every once and a while?
• Beat the furniture to kill those little bed and couch bugs every other day?
• Take out the garbage and clean its place daily?
• Clean all those ashtrays daily?
• Cook and serve breakfast, lunch and dinner?
• Fix all the problems that any house has?
• Clean the AC filters?
• Prepare a dinner for the whole family gatherings every week and clean up after?
• Throw parties and clean it yourself?
• Clean the car inside and out daily?
• Drive everyone to their destination and pick them up after school?
• Have time for yourself?

I know that many civilizations laugh at our lifestyle and make fun of our lazy asses, sorry people of the world we failed this one, BIG TIME! but you can’t blame us, we were brought up like this, and will also pass it on to our children, until one day one of them starts a new cool thing called self sufficient households. Yes I know that in the west a family will consist of a doctor, a business woman, 3 children at school and they would manage to not have a maid, its a secret to many, to me its discipline and time management.

Now tell me, why do you treat them so bad when you need them so bad? I also question the real need, does it exist?or is it a simple fashion statement each one of you boys & girls need? Can you or did you ever be the sole servant and housekeeper of your own home? If yor answer is yes, I bow in respect, if no, why?

In our Arabic quotes we have a saying “ He who serves the people is their master” I second that and agree.

Have mercy on the rest of us.

P.S. I know all the husbands will never mind a helper like the one in the picture, I know I never complain!