Men behaving badly!
Why do men insist on treating their wives/Divorcees/Ex-wives this way!
Please don’t go counting me as an angel on the subject. I have been married twice, and divorced twice. I feel sorry for the first one because i was young and wild, I was clueless and with no fine examples to guide me to a finer ending. I was thinking of me, and my son, and not of her feelings. I met her rudeness with wild
madness, I met her fights with with bigger male ego actions, but never, ever did I lay a hand on her. I have been beaten by my mother as a child, and accept it, but never from my from my father.
I have had my second divorce with much better grace and gentlemen like attitude. What i did not like, I refused to engage in. I did what I could to end this dead relationship once and for all, trying to salvage what is left, my daughter. My daughter thinks she has two homes, she is welcome in both, and she rules both, that is
how it should be. I get to see her 50% of the time and her mother enjoys her the other half. It should be like that.
I am a muslim, and Islam gives both of us the rights we need to move on. If it is a boy, then he gets to choose at the age of seven. If it is a girl she should be with the father, due to the fact that the mother could get married to a strange man. Between what is available to us in our religion and what really goes on in real life is a world of human mistakes and silly peer ideology.
When a woman is going through a divorce parents should have decent talks and have a balanced view of things and not take sides. Once a side is taken, you lose the chances you had before you take your stand. I shed the light in a new fashion today, one that has been taken for a test drive, I speak from personal experience, and do not care of the consequences or spears that will take aim at me, that is who I am.
I do not wish to take sides in my note, I only wish to talk about what really is taking place. if I say that man is the person doing the wrong, and women are free from blame, then I say I have no idea of what is going on. I am precisely talking about men who abuse the system and in the process abuse their harmless( even if they are not) female wives that have mothered their children.
Let me tell you a story of a man who married the woman of his dreams, or so they say. The man is has a profession that includes daily interactions with the opposite sex, he sees it as work. She on the other hand, has a similar job which includes the same kind of exposure. They get married and have 3 kids, usual in the Arab world, fast delivery of children to have them close to each other, the only two they did not have close together are themselves!
He wears a beard, although he never did before marriage, he was cool then, now he is more into the religion, or so he thinks. She accepts it, feeling it is a good
thing,if only he did mean it and not take the things he wants out of it and forget our religions many, many messages to handle females with care! he reminds me of the American dad episode when he came to Saudi Arabia and enjoyed the 4 wives and male domination idea( does not exist anymore it is only a fable).
She works as a highly respected Doctor in her field, she is excelling as we speak, her father made sure she completes her education and will continue to practice after marriage, that was agreed upon. She slaves away on her way to success, he sucks her dry, and tries to stop her from her work in the name of mingling with men,how sick can a mind get!
They buy the house, they buy the car, the have the maid, they pay for schools, they share, because someone told them that sharing was caring, suddenly it becomes SCARING!
He refuses to pay the bills( I did that once, only cause i couldn’t, but when I could i did and will continue to do so, help me god) so in order to make her suffer he cuts the expenses from his side, in an attempt to satisfy his love for cars and other manly toys.
She has her faults, they all do, we all do, but what happens when push comes to shove and she is a victim of brutal abuse. He slaps her and beats her in attempt to satisfy his ego, after he knows he has lost the battle and war and everything in between, she is onto him and his idiotic child like manners, Although I see non apparent to the naked eye, he has non. Who in this day and age hits a female and walks around calling himself a MAN?
In school they used to say pick on someone your own size, let me add to that, pick on someone from your own sex, unless you doubt your sexuality? are you man enough to admit to your wrong doings? is that the way we solve our issues in civilized worlds?
The next step will be one that needs both courage and stepping on each others ego’s and feelings, the children will take a hit, the families will pay the price of the wrong attitude, the couple will separate into two distant individuals that one day will look upon their mistakes and avoid the memory. They will not have a happy memory, you see, vicious, animal like divorces tend to do that, they wipe out the good stuff from your hard drive in order to move on.
To this man I say, I once was beaten by a flying shoe that came flying at me at a non disclosed speed, To this man I say If it was him, he would have beat the living daylights out of his wife for such an action, I say to that so called man, I never laid a hand on her, I only pointed it out to her parents and moved on. I admit to being hard headed, but we men should understand that females are a delicate creature, even if they drive us crazy, we can’t live with them and we can’t live without them, but why do we love them?
The children will pay the price, but I say it is better for the children to live with two parents instead one family that could ruin their well being in the near future.
Dear Mr. Strong and Brave Man, You know and I know, you are nothing but a mere cat in disguise, you have no manhood about you when you take advantage of such delicate and loving mothers, remember that you too have a sister, a mother, and a DAUGHTER!
To all my male reading friends, sorry, one of us men had to speak up!
Mamdooh Al-Radadi
The power of Applause I will Survive!
I relate to the story one way or another:
* Having my parents divorced.
* Witnessing Dad hitting Mom once
* Being beaten by my Mom (so many times) and Dad (few times)
He tried to slap me at Eid, but I stopped him. Not by force (I am a petite lady), I just told him “hit me if you want”. That broke his ego, cause it said “I know you are strong, I know you are older, I know you are my beloved father. But there is no force on earth that can make me change my mind”.
Well you know as a Saudi guy he disallows going out (I can only visit my family at prespecifed dates) and socializing with female friends is also forbidden (I do socialize at work , and I manage to sneak out with them during launch break. But I just wish if can do this in the light cause it alright).
All I did was asking him to go visit my friend’s mom funeral, in a polite fashion. As usual he said no, so I asked why?
He said: if you are unhappy you can drink a poison.
I said: cannot we talk.
He Said: no.
I said: dad we should be discussing this, suppression will not do anybody’s good.
BAM
Sure yes it is way much better for the parents to get a divorce than running their ideological picture in their most deered (children) one’s eyes . But why would a woman accept such treatment? Is it because she cannot afford an independent living? Or Is it because of the children? Or is it because somehow she is clueless about her rights? Or is it a combination of all?
I wish if we had a law against family abuse.