Love @ the office
I recently received an email from someone inquiring about one of the most hidden love affairs of our time and age. The idea is a simple one, it only has one twist to it, it takes place at your work place.
I know there is love on the dance floor by michael Jackson(RIP) and there is love at the mall, love at almost every spot on earth, and still love at the office is one of the more delicate subjects we face on a day to day basis, literarily. Why is it a Taboo? Isn’t it pure? or is it?
Well you see, in some cases a senior male will take advantage of his position and try and make a devilish move on his employee to have a thrill of the moment, thinking he owns the territory as if he is in a Jungle and he has made his marks by urinating in the four corners of the office, so any female in that geographical dimension is his. Well I frown upon such actions and think its an animal instinct with animal attitude attached to it.
What I am talking about is the other side of the coin, the pure side, the real love affair, the attraction factor. You know the love and attraction level where all surrounding objects seem to be alive. A love like no other with all the signs and signals you would need to spell L.O.V.E. What do you do when you are caught up in a love affair while doing your daily tasks? or what if you are a manager and find the love of your life working with you side by side? What about the girl from human resources, she has the whole floor repositioning their jaws when she passes by. What do you do? do you stay cool and see what happens? do you wait for him to make the move? do you attempt to get closer risking the fact that you made the first move and the signals you were getting were false?
I have never fancied anyone in the office, even the pretty ones, I guess I was more into the work than the idea of finding a girl of my dreams at work. Now what would I do if I did find a dream girl at the office? here is a rough example:
1- I have identified target. OK that sounds to electronic, Let’s say I like someone from work and I see how she acts with people, and her looks my way send tingles down my spine. She rocks my world, You see the only problem is she is my boss!
2- I start to talk to my best friend about her every other day. He say’s don’t be stupid, she is your boss, don’t play where you eat. I reply” this is not play, I want her! I want to mary her”.
3- I Think about it for a while. I decide i can’t take it no more, I know it will mean some kind of work transition, they never let anyone married in one place, strict office procedures are in place.
4- I bump into her in one of the hall ways, she smiles a strange smile. I know its real, she is the girl, I must make the move.She passes by me, I call her name, and I ask her if it is OK if I can call her at night after work on a personal issue, she accepts.
5- I call her and immediately drop in on the subject” I think I like you” then silence from the other end. “ Don’t get me wrong, I really like you, I think I want to marry you” more silence.
6- “ Oh my God!” “ You took me by surprise, I don’t know what to say! This is so awkward for me, can I call you back?” “ Yes, I’m Sorry” “ Thank you”.
7- I wait in vain, She calls me in an hour “ I like you too”.
So what do you think is the correct way to go about this issue? Do you do what I do? or is there other ways to tackle this delicate issue?
Your input is highly appreciated….
Mamdooh Al-Radadi
me@mamdoohalradadi.com
You are what you watch Evolution of the car Key
I am so in love with the article, and I just cannot help it LOL.
Well it seems logical for office-mates to have something for each other, they are together side by side for a minimum of 8 hours daily. Yet, a person should be very cautious about taking any step. But one cannot help falling in love with someone one likes. After all, love knows no logic and it is above all rules. Love @ the office is very complicated all around the globe, worse is falling in love with your boss/subordinate and extremely bad here in the kingdom.
What makes it difficult is the involvement yet conflicts between the very 2 important life factors: Love & work. Would you sacrifice one in favor of the other? How to find a balance? It is way too difficult to be handled.
In theory I will try to have this multistep Love @ the office strategizer kit. To ease thinking process try at the first few steps to isolate love from work by only focusing on one direction at a time.
Re-assuring your love:
1.Try to identify is it love, lust or just attraction? Only look down to the rest if you are sure you are in love and not something else.
Validating the other party senses (forget in a second all about work):
1.Am I forcing myself on him/her?
2.Are there real signals, and it is only towards me?
What are the things to look for in a serious love relation (forget in a second all about work):
1.Is the other party married, if yes then no need to continuo?
2.Is he/she considered as good (cheating, drinking, and smoking, quickly irritated)? Prepare a chick list and only if he/she scored well (sounds like SAT & GMAT screening, lol) look into the next question.
3.Dose the examined person have what it takes to be a parent and a husband/wife?
4.Dose he/she poses the things you are looking for in your other half?
Now you have to add the work:
1.What are your company rules towards such an affair (big organization might allow love affairs between tow workers in deferent departments)?
2.Can you or your loved one afford to move?
3.Draw a detailed plan (how long will it take for one of you to move, where , when ..etc)
Assuming that you are O.K with the above answers you can now look into how to take it to the next level, otherwise step on your heart (get over yourself) the earlier the better.
Finding the safest approach (with minimum or no risk) that its easily understood is also tough (what is not in such a relation). I guess what makes it hard for guys to take the next step differs from the ladies. Guys are trying not to be reported as sexual offendrs, while ladies are trying not to become flings or under specious later when the relation takes off .
Maybe dedicating a song to express your inner feelings on your behalf by asking them to carefully listen to the song and tomorrow tell me what goes with it? (is it weak) or maybe playing a word game, where he/she would complete a proposal sentence. Better yet riskier options would be to pop the question on an out of duity call or date. But since I am a lady, I would only provide signals , directions and wait for him for sometime.
A note to bear always on mind “regardless of the decision, regardless of the choice keep the affair outside and stick to being professional @ work. Otherwise office gossip will make you more famous than Obama.”
I really strgulled from such a relation, Wonderful Mamdoh!