If I was only single again!

July 26, 2010 Mamdooh Cultures, Family, Living, Love, Marriage, People watching, Personal development, Personal Views, Relationships, She said, He said, 2

How many times have you heard that in the last year? I have been hearing it forever, said it for a bit, found the answer twice, and still wonder why people still say it?

The idea of writing this piece came to me while listening to a song that R.Kelly sings named ” be my #2” where he bluntly tells his new girl that she will never be his #1, because he has a special person in his life, he also tells her he can’t be seen everywhere with her, but still there are other places, like Islands and other destinations his #1 doesn’t know..and so on.

Why would someone who has a number one, look for a lesser number? a number two or four for instance? is it a numbers game? or is he not sure about what he has? is it that they lost the spark? the fire? the thrill? has the thrill gone? many ideas and questions and excuses, sometimes its just a fact the person loves to play!

Let me focus on one of those, the thrill factor, the magnetic force that pulls two together, the real deal feeling. What seems to happen to many couples I guess is a plague called routine. This little devil crawls in uninvited at first, but persistence always pays. So when the couple finally understand each other, and finally get to know each others like & dislike buttons, they suddenly get sick of each other, same old thing day in day out.

Some couples actually know what their partners next move or reaction will be, so they play to that for a while, and just like a new toy to a kid, that also becomes boring, especially if the other partner is in on the game. So boredom does shed its wide and vast shadows on relationships.

After a couple of years of being together, they start to wonder what is happening on the other side of the relationship barrier. They have singles that mingle and give them the latest scoops in society, who’s with who, who’s cheating, who’s divorced..blah! blah! blah!

So here in this fraction of time, the devil himself finds a window of opportunity to have a new puppet that thinks its always rosier on the other side, forgetting his wonderful wife who is the envy of all surrounding females & males! with her awesome smile, her wonderful body and looks, her wit & humor, her mind, even though she’s a blonde..you know the good stuff we all dream of.

Everything starts with an idea, ideas nest and infest a big part of the thinking, ideas need actions to become reality, actions start off small with off track routines back home, wandering eyes, checking if they are still capable of drawing attention of the opposite sex, what kind of girls or boys do these wandering eyes lure in for lunch or supper..and the rest is history.

Some stop their actions right there and come back home to their partners and make up for their bad ideas..some, take the next step…

Ideas have lured small actions, small actions have investigated the scene and it gives the coast is clear signal, the partner is occupied, the targets acknowledged and acquired, what next? “Are you married?” asks the pretty young girl… “what do you think?” replies the sinner. If he say’s yes! he has a 50/50 chance this thing will go south, if he say’s its complicated..his chances go up 25% if he say’s No! then he has 100% chance of keeping the target engaged until further notice.

I would love to give you more information about what goes on after that, but it would consume so much time, let me speed it up for you. If he said No! the obvious comment would be why not, you have a good job you say, your over 30, you seem decent…why not? the key word here is DECENT! hahahaaa. anyway, I’m supposed to stay in writing mode, not facebook mode!

The man gets so deep that he can’t manage his life anymore, believe me on this, only a few have managed to call it quits and come back to their loving wives or husbands, only a few…HEY! get the idea out of your mind! I said only a few, and the rest get roasted for dinner!

So let’s get back to the main idea behind why happy people tend to seek other stuff from outside the relationship, if it sucks try and fix it or leave it behind and move on, its that simple, we tend to complicate things.

Here are a few things I think can help anyone keep what they have and enjoy it, even if it becomes boring sometimes, you can keep it spicy and fill it with surprises:

• Change is good, keep evolving.
• When you see your husband liking something on tv, maybe, just maybe try it for him.
• That lovely hair of yours, you know you can do magic with it, just do it!
• Your body, well it could have changed over the years, but you have to maintain in order to be sexy! maintain is the name of the game, it goes for guys too! why does your wife have to put up with the truck you call a belly, looking like santa ain’t sexy, except for perverts!
• Your smell and odor, keep in control, not because you live together you can fart and laugh you know! not funny…. gases belong in containers or open air sicko!
• Experiencing new things together is always fun, accept her as your buddy and explore as if with friends, you know what I mean.
• Buy her stupid things, make him laugh, run after him, chase her in a mall instead of being adults, talk dirty to him, talk sweet to her, change and be young forever.
• Go on secret vacations, don’t let anyone know, just you two, leave the kids behind, make excuses.
• Cook for her, shop for him, clean with her, splish and splash with her, dress up for weekends, dress down for work at home, buy the latest perfume, stop using that 1980 ARAMIS for god’s sake! and you girl dump the Channel for a while.
• Teach her new things, laugh with her, take classes and challenge each other, do stuff that you never did before.
• Take an equivalent to $5 and take her out, do not over spend! check out that old beaten falafel place.

The options are many, only if we want to.

mamdooh.alradadi wondering if he could pull that off! in Jeddah June26th 2010

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