Do guys fall in love again?
“Mama always told me don’t go around breaking young girls hearts” Billie Jean, Michael Jackson. Well I want to ask Mama about the flip side of the coin, what happens when a young boys heart is broken? who do I file a complaint to? who will comfort me? Why is it always the girls that get heart broken? is it not a woman’s world today? so eventually all the manly bullying will be handled by the girls..hence the increase in mens heart breaks.
The other day I had a very intellectual conversation with a very wise and wonderful person who pointed out a sad-kind-of-true fact. She said that the girls take a hit in the love scene and stand up after a while and fall in love again. The boys on the other hand fall in love, get beaten down, never fall in love again, they suddenly become players, with some examples of people. The others just shy away, get married, have children, and die.
Now I know that could be an exaggeration, even with exaggerations you find a percentage of reality, and this time its a big one. But my argument is that its not that at all, the reason why guys turn into players or non believers in true love are many, let me shed some light;
- They were taken for a ride by some playful not so true lover.
- The same lover kept haunting them for many years.
- Girls are said to be multi taskers by nature, so some abuse the privilege.
- When guys fall in love, they fall hard and deep, just like girls but since its not so many times, they give it all with no hidden agendas, just like a man walking with no rib cage leaving his heart vulnerable to the outside world.
- By nature men like to take reigns of power in relationships, they like to take care of their loved ones, they like to give.
- When a man loves a woman, he gives in totally, forever, never will he forget his first love.
- When a guy is hurt, he hides it as much as he can, till he fixes his wounds, and then along comes polly, so he clings on, and that is her problem to be the first after the love.
- Girls seem to pretend they don’t play around to make themselves look like a clean version of what he is looking for, denying any previous relations, this ticks him off, the game becomes apparent to him, since it started with a lie, he seeks triumph in the long term without thinking about her positively( She lied now, what makes her not lie later on?) enough is enough.
- After a while the guy seems to be capable of drawing and attracting much more beautiful girls to his life than his lover, she is forgotten and so is all the other love maybe’s that flock his way, he gets distracted and overwhelmed by his sudden player status.
- The girls that come into his life act as if he was waiting for them to enter?? what are you talking about? he was not waiting for anyone. Then they ask him am I the only one? of course not!
- The Player/Guy starts to weigh his options just like any other girl would do to find the perfect partner and settle in, he needs his space and time, but no! you are mine they think, everything takes time.
- Sometimes he will fall in love, and then the girls start to play tricks on them, testing them for honesty and reality check ups, checking if he is loyal sending girls his way, well guess what? he liked your gift and decided to keep it and replace you, so dumb.
- The girls think that love/ hurt thing is more on their side, wrong! it is equal, always has been, only difference is how it is perceived and portrayed by the lovers.
I meant to shed some light on a few outside the subject points to try and capture some of mans ideology on this sensitive feeling that is not really the hub of men talk. Men prefer to talk about conquering and knowing her and her, and doing this with that and what not. Even the married friends i have seem to miss the scene( liars & cowards..lol) They would start with back in my days the girls where all around me, blah this & blah that, I get bored by the sayers, players do it in the mix, and you ain’t it buddy!
Some will argue its a 50/50 thing, some will agree in the fact that men will certainly weigh their options too long, wait for the options to diminish, then make a sudden move, in the wrong or right direction. But honestly, guys like girls do need to be swept away, each individual seeks things he knows, and in reality its the things that never crossed his mind that made him decide in the end.
I say to my intellect friend, nice point, but pointless in an unfair environment, it used to be a mans world, now its more or less becoming a woman’s world, the rules have changed, and will continue to do so for the coming century. Why not shed some light on the female lovers that evolved into players? give a brother a break and hear the drummer get wicked!
The drummer beats on and on till the break of dawn helping us run as far as we can from the broken hearts we left behind in some dim memory alley, sometimes the only thing man fears is choice itself, why? he sometimes draws from the past, history does repeat itself you know, and Einstein said that insanity is doing everything the same way again and expecting to have a different result…instead of focusing on a new approach to the subject, he fears insanity?
Being the complex people we become, its the untangling that men take their time in, not the running away from love thing, we all want and need to be loved and love, who wants to be lonely on his death bed with no one to hold his hand and say good bye?
When in love.. You only matter, yes You & Me. Love hurts, and thats a wonderful feeling to feel for someone you will live with forever and share every waking hour, to miss someone is a lovely thing, to feel the power of love and live to tell your story to your grandchildren is another :-)
mamdooh.alradadi is waiting for your thoughts, cause its your thoughts that count.
me@mamdoohalradadi.com
“When a man loves a woman, he gives in totally, forever, never will he forget his first love. “( True)
“When a guy is hurt, he hides it as much as he can, till he fixes his wounds, and then along comes polly, so he clings on, and that is her problem to be the first after the love.” Why is it “Polly’s” problem ? Cuz she has to deal with all his new “insecurities”, “misconceptions”,and “paranoia” wants..needs..& expectations he developed as a result of his first encounter with real love and the hurt and pain he faced the last time ( and 1st time ) he fell in love for real? If your answer is yes…just bare in mind the same is true vice versa.
I largely agree with the latter I quoted from u. I know a lot of girls play the game and have the tricks..the hidden agenda(s), the planing and plotting…calculating…I just don’t know how they do it but am VERY familiar with how the guys do it,,and believe me they do it WELL. So, I still thinks it’s a ” MAN’s ” world we live in. Just the wrong kind of man. Rather, “Male” and not a MAN; if u know what I mean.
http://www.hereinmyhead.com/collect/under/utp5.html ( check out the comments here, too. She talks about what u started off your article with )
*when he fell in love 4 real?
Or did u mean like what really happened in the movie: “When along came Polly”,,,how he fell in love with the total opposite of what he thought he wanted in a woman,,and in a partner? But he had to learn to accept her the way she was first and stop fighting it,,he had to condition himself, or, was it her doing the conditioning on him ?? One of my fav. if NOT Fav. romantic comedies ever!, BTW. So,I can talk abt this movies for as long as it takes to draw some conclusions in relation to your insights and personal experiences u shared with us on this topic! Lol
Pls count my thoughts OK? :P
I and all planet Earth have different opinions – depends on all that experience we all had previously and I feel that Every Men could get what he want!! the way He want it!!! rather than Get it to the point of-Oh lets Blame it!