I never knew that you can learn so much just by wondering around places, seeing and watching different faces and looking at past traces of lost civilizations. It is astonishing just another place to the naked eye, yet so full of wisdom to the person who really looks.You know the saying about living and learning, well if you live long enough you know more than the rest, yet many live longer years and end up empty, as the source of their education was conventional, the ones that really make a difference and leave traces when they leave this earth of ours, are the wonderers, the people that insist on knowing more through interactions and observing their surroundings and other creatures.

Children: Watching young children play was always useful in understanding things I could not figure out, they play and run wildly until they get tired, we train and force ourself to gyms. When left alone, they hide nothing, they cry when they want to, we hide it until it kills us, they laugh at anything and we pretend to be grownups, they are naughty by nature, yet innocent little creatures, we fake it and break it and hide nasty intentions, they call you by your first name, we make them call us uncle and sir and Mrs., what for? They love chocolate for its yummy taste, we avoid it for its nasty side effects without knowing its wonderful feeling booster. I learn daily from children, they are my real idol, they rock my world. The best areas to see them in action is at school playgrounds, in family settings trying to free themselves from the family slavery, malls, airplanes, supermarkets, and the number one area in my opinion when they first enter a large toy store, they get caught up with the wonderful colors and how they will convince you to move in and live here!

Women: Watching women interact together is a whole new ball game to many, they assume that they understand them, yet no man can stand in a football pitch and say he finally found the true meaning of a woman  to the crowd. The delicacy and mere inner components of such a creature are a mystery, and are always sweet, no matter what you say about them , they remain our poets favorite subject, they remain the completing piece of puzzle to this wonderful life.They are your mother, your sister, your daughter, your lover, they surround you with their love and caring, they teach you how to be soft inside, when the world makes you tough. They love to have fun, just like us men, they are mostly misunderstood, they have been trying to prove themselves for centuries now, their time has come to take the reigns of power, the time is now. I could never get enough of their intellect, beauty, sexiness, love, tenderness, thinking, sweetness, rudeness when needed, the way they simply make you forgive them with a cute look, its all it takes to lose a battle. Watch when they want something, watch when they become eager beavers, like a black widow spider luring you to their web and sucking the living daylights out of you, lol. Looking on their bright side, they can make black look white and pave your stones with diamonds and rubies, delicately caress your pain away, slowly yet surely completing you. I need more space for women, I must move on.. Great places to watch females in action are boutique shops, malls, supermarkets and in business settings, actually everywhere there are females they are great to watch

Men: They are surely obsessed with their testosterone levels injected with a big ego shot. Men among men are a different animal, they test waters continuously to see who is bigger, better, faster, richer, more clever, and in the end, they find that the race was with themselves, so they become friends. With women they change like chameleons, even the fine examples have this soft spot for a female, even if she was out to get his neck, he would deliver it on a silver plate and after He’s history, wonders what went wrong? Please note the men have a naturally strong feature build, yet if you had a special X-Ray machine to check them out, you would find small boys hiding underneath that masculine body. They love and care, protect and share, hunt and dump, just like females, they also cry. My favorite watching areas for men are hotel lobbies, coffee shops and malls, business areas where they are all important, and for that extra special feature presentation check them out at night spots.

Earth: When you take a walk in a park or by the sea or even in a metropolitan area, look at your surroundings, study them, watch how they function together in perfect harmony, any imperfections to the general system are weeded out, its amazing. The different shades of green amaze me, the different aromas that descend from flowers and trees, woods and jungles, farms and spas, seas and rivers, waterfalls and volcanoes, natural springs and swimming pools. The sounds that things make when you step on them, the crackles, the pops, the twists, the very actions and disformations they adjust to. The sights of stars at night, and sunshine rays on rainbows, the full moon above and its reflections on an empty desert strip with the ocean in the horizon. Going under water is a whole new world, each movement precisely triggered by some great force from above, each fish has a parent, each shell fish has a destiny, each whale will travel thousands of miles to mate, each dolphin jumps out of the water in splendid grace. Sharks know they rule and have the powers to prove it, shrimps are someone’s food like many other sea life form, to know what Im talking about take a swim one day and look below you, what a sight.

Sounds: The music over the centuries that man has made is simply a wonder in itself, nothing can demonstrate mankind’s genius like music, think about it, out of nothing, you get these rhythms you dance to or memorize the lyrics to complete the joy. Like circles in the sand going round and round, magnificent artist keep grabbing us by the ear, each person develops tastes to other peoples making and suddenly he is a fan forever. The sound of all the different creatures, the sounds we make when uncomfortable, when in pain, when in distress, the baby cries, the animals purrs and growls, the rains drops on your head, the sound of your hungry stomach, the sound of my computer keyboard, the sound a car makes, the heartbeats, the sound of music.

Smells: Your nose has great capabilities in identifying and familiarizing itself with all the different smells around us. Smell this; A new french perfume on your skin, the smell of garbage at a dumpster, the smell of a baby, the smell of a man, the scent of a woman, a teenagers socks after a day out at school and the mall, the smell of freshly cleaned clothes soaked in comfort, the aroma of hot bread out of an oven, the smell of a new car, the smell of burning rubber, the smell of an airport, the stink of a skunk, the smell of autumn, what about the food you eat, the pizza, the lasagna, the rice, the stinky sushi that you still adore, the indian cuisine, the spanish, the Thai, the French, its all good, now I’m hungry, damn it!

Feel: What does it feel like when you get hurt, no one actually touched you? but you felt it, now what does it feel like to touch a kiwi, a watermelon, a cat, a dog, a couch? Every thing has a certain feel to it, what about the feel of your daughters hair, your hair, your skin, her skin, his skin, his beard, her back, what does your bed feel like? how do you like the feeling you get when you touch a flower? how bad does it hurt when a thorn makes you bleed? how does your palm feel? what about the other side? are they the same? how does baby oil on your skin make you feel after a hot shower? what good does a massage do you? how does her body feel next to yours? how does it feel closer? what does a punch in the eye feel like? is it the same feeling you get when you touch a slimy snail and a soft cuddly teddy bear? what about diamonds, rubber, the mouse you use daily, the carpet or marble under you, does it feel the same barefoot, how does walking on the sand make you feel, is it the same as walking on ice? feelings.

All you have to do, is to take it in slow, its so much fun when you understand where to get a proper Fun & Interesting education.

mamdooh.alradadi

me@mamdoohalradadi.com

In the corners of the red sea, a school of fish is swimming doing what they do best, swim around. They play and feed on the smaller fish and whatever seems to be available. Boys and girls in total harmony, they have had their formal education at community colleges and the lucky few at the hall of fame upscale schools.

Survival is the key to their success, the fittest and leanest will see another day, every day is a new and enjoyable experience and chance to do all that you can do in your life. One hour in fish time is treated like a lifetime.

They give new meaning to “ a life time experience”.A new couple are introduced to one another by the reef, they chuckle and acknowledge one another, cheers they wave their glasses high in the air, and exchange winks.

They can see the humans at the surface on top of a cruise liner celebrating this one year thing they call new year, every year, same time they see the sky above light up to the sight of firecrackers and extravaganza shows. They know it ends when they see the drunken humans bottles hitting the seas floors with a thump and the big ship moves away with its annoying engine sounds.

The new kids start seeing each other at the local hidden seaweed cafe, they sit and chat, bubbles every where with their messages appearing inside like some cartoon. “You have your mothers eyes, I like the way you move, your fast and sexy” she looks down in a shy manner. “ what do you do for a living?” she asks. “ I’m a scout, we patrol the area making sure no predators are too close” with a sign of proudness he declared. “I know this place by the reef which is very romantic at dusk, wanna come check it out?” and off they go.

On the way they share a ipod swinging to the beats of 50 bones new album, the most notorious rapper in the red sea, known for his in your face raps and controversial lyrics, his latest hit “ mermaids want me” was on WTV’s top charts for 6 weeks( unheard of in the under water world) earning him Platinum status. All the teens love him for his out of the water attitude and way of life. Fish live and move in schools, he is their one way ticket to bad boy land.

They get to the reef and the sights and sounds are just irresistibly romantic. The silence and view is gill blocking. They look into each others eyes, they have no time to waste, this is the time, this is our time, we know it, its that feeling you get when you see someone and think you know them. They tango. The music has changed to more romantic chill-out lounge moods, they dance and romance the stone. He tells her to close her eyes, she smiles.

He runs away looking for those oysters in danger land, he tickles them open, he steals the pearls one after the other, he finds a small human fishing line, bites it right, drills the pearls and one after the other makes way for the most amazing necklace fit for a queen and swims back.” open your eyes” he bubbles, “what took you so long? OH MY GOD!” she screams.

In our lifetime days are numbers, in fish lifetimes days are lifetimes. They embrace the moments and move fast, they are the talk of the town, they love it. They have contained the issue and it is theirs, they don’t mind the hollywood gossip, let them fish off! they think, its our life, and we do what we do best, make babies.

They marry and leave to make their home in the anemone area, an upscale area where only the rich and famous clownfish reside, clownfish make people happy, so they make the most money, fish need to laugh you sea, living with the daily dangers the face. These fish got it right you sea, only what matters counts. The listen to the customer, and deliver, and the customer in return pays top dollar.

The babies arrive, all cute and adorable. Boys and girls in a 50/50 split. The children grow up and are soon on their own to discover the sea world on their own. The personalities are very different than the parents, the parents are proud of their produce( remember this word).

The children escape their surroundings, swimming here and their, fast and furious best describes them, they are fat yet nimble, nice and juicy catch as we humans call them. The no swimming area is where the deadly fish swim and lethal humans come to catch. The reason for the crowd is simple,food! the fish can’t seem to remember anything, or who their deadly others are from time to time, everything is based on today, what happened yesterday or last hour is history.

If it was one thing i can say that is the deadliest thing that fish have its their memory, what memory?

Anyway, the young ones are all heading home as they notice their missing adventurer brother? the time is getting late for our games and fun, and he has been missing for hours.

“ How would you like to have it sir?” politely asked the waiter to some family at some fancy sea food restaurant in some 5 star hotel. “ Have it baked and add some herbs to it only, this fish tastes good like that”. replied the mother on the table.

Two families, two tales ;P

Enjoy the moments.

mamdooh.alradadi

me@mamdoohalradadi.com

Back in the early days of my Banking career my Bank which was an affiliate of citibank introduced me to an amazing audit feature called whistle blowing. The main objective of this practice is to ensure everyone, including senior management hold a high level of ethics and morale towards work.

By this I mean not taking advantage of their seniority and the power they hold within their hands. It also is a means of making sure the lower people in the organization are not afraid of their seniors if they are committing a crime or taking advantage of a situation.

Whistle blowing can be used for big and small issues, it is done in a secretive way so as to not harm the blower. It strikes through all management layers one way, to the most senior powers, sometimes jumping them and reporting to the board. This was an amazing tool that helped save the Banks around the world Millions of peoples hard earned money. It was a workers dream come true against corporate crime.

This system does not work when it is taken lightly, and you can guess what happened in Citibank over the past 5 years, not to mention regional Banks. yes the big picture says mortgage backed securities, but look underneath the fat to uncover years of conspiring and bad doings, the end.

Governments have taken this approach in many forms and systems, sometimes whole ministries are formed for the sole purpose of checking on its spending and other related matters. The people are the ones that make it happen, choice is based on knowing the person in charge or simply a friend or family friend, and here we find the root of the problem.

Lets take a walk around the happenings from macro to micro levels and see where this whistle could have stopped the game. On a world level we can tell that many Bankers had a dirty hand in the so called economic melt down. They say too much easy money teaches stealing, hence the famous Billionaire Murdoch and his scam that passed by the commissions and securities like a thunder bolt making them look like preschoolers on a mission. The domino effect of the mortgage & financial over the counter products still haunts us till today after many months of government bailouts and buyouts.

What if they listened to the unpaid piper and his whistles? could have saved them a Trillion or so dollars, but why worry when its tax payers money anyway?

On country levels, we find governments like Nigeria still fighting to make it,The UNited Nations estimates that the population in 2005 was at 141 million, and predicted that it would reach 289 million by 2050.Nigeria has just recently undergone the start of the population explosion due to higher fertility rates.The UNited States census bureau projects that population of Nigeria will reach 264 million by 2050. Nigeria will then be the 8th most populous country in the world. Now that is a serious major explosive problem, the country is rich in oil, but say the word Nigeria and scandal pops up in your face!

Did they kill the people that whistle in that country? seriously?

Take it lower to city levels and look at my city Jeddah in Saudi Arabia, the city that’s different in KSA. The city by the sea, the center and major airport to the two holy cities that millions of people visit every year. We have the worst airports, services, roads, municipalities, the city was usually up for grabs.

The latest disaster that left the city officials paralyzed with shame and disgust on their predecessors and some of their friends and officials. The drowning of innocent 3 year olds and 70 year olds under bridges, is a shocking and shameful truth which we will be all held accountable in front of our maker.

They drowned because someone stole. They perished like cattle on a rampage. They died holding each others hands praying for the great Allah to save them, for they have been betrayed by their officials. They did not have to learn to swim, for swimming is done in a pool or the sea, not on dry land surrounded by mountains. They died because someone chose to build with sewage and drainage money a palace by the beach. While he and his beloved family sunbathed, they sank deeper and deeper into the drainage system he never built.

As my tears form with every part of this paragraph I can’t help but try to figure out what the last thought was on that little girl holding on to her mother who was trying to save her child and drowned in the process, and then the little girl swallows the last water before giving way for her soul to depart her 3 year old body, how can they do this?! animals have more pity for weaker ones, have mercy.

Here the whistle blower got fed up, as he witnessed the people listening dancing to his tunes in harmony and making fun of him, passing remarks like” it only rains once in this country” relax, chill…I wish you chill in hell I say.

Transparency is not for the weak hearted, face your mistakes and punish the bad, give way to the people that really love you, do not play with peoples lives. Next time a whistle is blown I am sure they will all jump up to action, I hope, I wish, I pray.

Going down the micro level, lets look at companies and organizations with thousands of employees. Here the whistler is taken lightly, and his tunes are muted for a while, please let us focus on the business he is told. He whistles some more, then decides to relax and chill. Then when the problem arises, they remove the source of the trouble after the stealing and power advantage is abused.

Here’s the funny part, management knows its mistake, so how does it play it? it continues to make the matters worse. They compensate the senior manager for the remaining time he would have stayed with the company, so he does not make any PR campaign against them! i am actually laughing my ass off! And he is given a letter that states he was a great employee, so another company gets burnt.

Whistle till you can’t take it no more. Don’t fall victim to the corporate bullies in your life, they live wild and fly high, but soon come crashing down, its one end for them, they know it.

Let’s go down to medicine and all its blunders and mistakes on peoples lives. How many hospitals have had their license withdrawn in the last 25 years in Saudi Arabia? Zero! please don’t go telling me about some small clinic on the outskirts of nowhere! Major hospitals continue to use their power and connections to save their own lives while poor people come in for a normal anesthesia for some minor issue, and leave in a coffin! Wrong medicine prescriptions, laid back attitude, wrong diagnoses, many fatal incidents, and still they advertise.

When a doctor whistled once, he was told to mind his own business. Multiply that on a daily basis by one hundred and you can get the picture. Keep it up new doctors, don’t stop till you get enough.

The grapevine is where you hear the stories and rumors of people stealing and others lobbying against someone for his bravery and in your face comments of what goes wrong. You can tell if a guy is stealing by his living standards, he get paid an average salary and lives a Sheiks life! come on people, and here I must say forget the inheritance and lottery winnings, and when the @#*! hits the fan, you say I thought he was living beyond his capabilities.

The obvious is obvious. The truth is always naked. The sight never appealing.

Now for your personal standards, do you check on your actions and their viability daily before you go to sleep? Do you know that what goes around comes all the way back around? let’s make sure our younger generation has a great example to take us through the next millennium without us splattering the books of history with shame and greed instead of honesty and growth.

Sorry for the long note, I had to, and now I feel relieved.

mamdooh.alradadi.com

me@mamdoohalradadi.com

ALBAIK is a fast food company that sells fried broasted chicken meals, it is the pinnacle of success in its industry and has given kentucky fried chicken or KFC a run for its money in Saudi Arabia.

The Ministerial Agency of civil affairs is a government entity that handles the births, deaths and issuance of ID’s & Family ID’s but not the passports. It is the pinnacle of bad experiences.

ALBAIK manages to sell thousands of meals daily across the western region daily in a very affordable, pleasant, value for money fashion. They sell SAR11 meals with their famous unique garlic sauce in record time, every time. They also smile while they work and deliver, sometimes fake, but they smile.

The civil thing place, makes you sweat, literarily, you sweat to deliver your papers, you wait 2 weeks for your ID to arrive from the capital, let me try and contain the issue and show you how they function.

You come in, you take a number to be seen and the requests are written in some kind of maze around the walls, they have 2 information and ticket dispenser workers( who think they own the place)after you have your photos, your file, your copies of old or family ID’s, you are seen by a ministry official, if you are lucky… it takes more than 6 hours of waiting, ok maybe 4 until prayer time, then move on and come back in the morning with a new set of numbers.

ALBAIK: you step up tp the counter, place your order, pay, get your change, look at yor number, notice its far out, have no fear! these are masters of fast delivery and experts of process management, and they fight to get better.

Today:

Civil affairs agency: I arrive at 8:15 am I am already late. The crowds are growing, the noise is growing and the people are wasted. The staff are dead, some still in the process, or pretending to be dead, the numbers front line offices are wearing swine flu masks, very angry faces, extremely angry service people, did I say service( SORRY!).  I am treated badly when I asked a question slightly away from the line( only one guy ahead of me and he was done), I was ordered to get in line if I was to be served.

I asked for delivery area of new ID’s, I get a number 280, I run happily jumping up and down like a 5 year old high on 2 bars of chocolate, really jumping, as high as I could in my saudi gear and head thing, yeeeeha! I’m getting my ID today. Then the shock, the number was 163, that’s ok I thought ALBAIK finishes that number in less than half an hour.

I quickly scan the wide waiting room which can only handle 50 people or so, three windows for delivery, one man standing only. He barely is breathing, let alone moving, he is young, not energetic and extremely slow, just like grandma!

I calculate his handling of one transaction, 10 minutes at least, to deliver a card. I take 280 and minus it from 163 it equals 117 people, only. I multiply that number by 5 minutes, not 10 and the total time I would have to wait on average is almost 10 hours. Not bad for a guy who has only one refined, focused goal in life to get a citizen ID, he would actually be a lucky person. He would only have to wait 10 hours in his whole lifetime, imagine?

Now since we normal people, do have more goals than one, I figured they would shut down for the night, open again in the morning, and still it would not be my turn. And the funny part would be a twist in their ticketing system, valid for one day only!

So if ALBAIK fast food would handle his delivery in 10 minutes per customer, I assure you he would be studied in history books.the actual average time to pas 78 orders today was in less than 25 minutes, you do the math. If a company can do it, I guess a government entity serving people should learn a few tricks, and I bet the staff in that civil place all buy ALBAIK for dinner or lunch.

It only took some old fashioned process engineering and planning, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. If there is heavy traffic, increase manpower! cut the unnecessary work, make it faster from point A to point B…duh!

The irony of the matter is all the people that come into this area of work are doing it for the sake of work, the end user, he is just another number. I accept to become another number, but please do something with the time, I am willing to even pay…. THINK!

Now if you excuse me, its 1.30 in the AM over here, and I have to be at that dreadful place at 6 in the morning, and try to get what’s mine, if I am lucky, good thing I got my sons too so he wont go through the amazing experience I had.

Why don’t they let ALBAIK chicken handle the process for the issuance and delivery of ID cards, just take a visit to one of their offices.

1- Bad location, Bad locations, Bad location

2- Dumb people working like zombies.

3- Not one smile to be seen in a million miles.

4- Extremely bad, extinct dinosaurs working the front desks.

5- Excellent ticketing system that is put there to tell you how slow they are, so they can serve the idiot after you for actually staying the full 6 hours!

Let’s just hope no one from the civil affairs is awake reading my blog, I need to first get my card, then run, and jump in the air like I just don’t care…is this an ID card I’m talking about or the winning 100 million dollar lottery ticket?

And so many more areas that could learn a lesson or two from other areas in life, sometimes even from ants. I know ALBAIK was good tonight, I hope I get in and out in at least 2 hours, imagine someone being happy for being served in just 2 hours.

People; they come in good, bad and disgusting.

mamdooh.alradadi

me@mamdoohalradadi.com

They used to gather every weekend, we used to accompany them by force, they used to have fun as sisters and brothers with their whole family, they were my aunts and uncles. We were young children then, only observers as they say, we only digested and filtered what we wanted to remember and threw the rest to the cats.

• They used to have fights every week, and meet the very next. We have the same fights, we meet after months.
• The wife has daily battles with her husband, makes up the next day as if nothing ever happened, and does it again & again, we choose the easy way out and divorce one another.
• People took peoples words to the Bank, today we take them to court.
• Simple was king back then, complicated is the way to be today.
• Schools forced us to learn back then, garbage in garbage out, schools are starting to listen in on humans real needs for progress.
• Controlled directed information was then, today its up for grabs, its what you do with it that counts.
• Cars were Bigger, gas thirsty, now they are mean and lean, tiny and cute, trying to free themselves from gas and ready for a Sun tan instead.
• Managers were Bosses then, today they are part of the team.
• Pepsi and Seven up were icons back then, now its back to basics and natural, how ironic?
• Sell, Sell, Sell was the way of yesteryear, service, service, service is what it is now.
• Expensive travel and phone calls are replaced with train fare air travel and hours of free air time to chat on the phone.
• Post cards are replaced with email messages and sms mumbo jumbo.
• Music was really made by real people then, today its electronic most of the time, love was the theme back then, its hard core house and brain draining techno today.
• Business was done by long traveling days and exploration, today its B2B without leaving your office.
• Movies were about wars and horror, now they are about funny and run away from reality more than ever.
• Marriage is taken lightly and faster today, it was a life sentence back then, one you wanted to serve the years.
• World domination and cold wars were replaced with strategic political takeovers today.
• Reading was written in finely binded books, you can have the same today in PDF ebooks.
• Food was wholesome, today its the latest version of fresh fast food.
• Mom and pop stores filed the world, today they are replaced with things they call Mega Malls, and Hyper Markets with cheaper items.
• What was handsome and pretty back then is not so these days, the measures have changed so fast no one knows what to expect.
• Women were the backbone and never reached the highest ranks in the past, today men are aware of them eventually taking over their male dominant world for the last 20 centuries,
• Children were fragile in the early years, now they are forming into a stronger kind of children driven by the new fast lifestyles they live today.
• Money was cash and coins, today its electronic.
• Travel agencies were a big deal and actually the only deal, today they are replaced with expedia.com & hotels.com.
• Learning was on campus, today in your pajamas at your mac.
• American muscle cars ruled the planet for more than 70 years, today the far east and Europe are bringing the American car companies to a melt down, They are now starting to listen to their customers like the Japanese did in the 70’s on American soil.
• People had no choice on what to watch except for their countries broadcasting arms, today you can watch a program airing in the US within 24 hours in the Middle East.
• Music was made on LP’s and Cartridge tapes, today its Mp3 electronic music. Movies were on big rolls of film today on DVD and computer files.
• Computers had 128 mb memory, today phones have 4 GB’s of internal memory expandable to 8GB and more.
• Photos were taken and developed in 24 hours, now you can take the same one 100 times and edit it, upload it to the net in less than 2 minutes.
• In the old days the ugly people or so they say, were labeled that for as long as they lived. Today you walk into a clinic and change your look as many times as you wish and have that pointed nose you always wanted or those hairs you longed for after you lost yours.

Back then for me to write to you all everyday would be a killer task, today I write to you in my towel ready for my midnight shower before I sleep and just press publish and its yours!

If back then is now in a few days or years, have a great then & now

mamdooh.alradadi

me@mamdoohalradadi.com

I am not talking about a wedding here, Im talking about a totally other kind of maid, the famous house maid. You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them I say.In this part of the world it is almost unheard of to not have one, even if you are starving to death, I have to admit I missed them for a while. Being a single guy does not really qualify me for having the luxury of a maid, but what do you know I am a bi-product of this society, I fought away many things, but this one keeps hunting me down. While I was married I had 3 people working for me: A Driver, A maid/helper, and a Nanny.

No wonder I never saved a dime! The funny part is we are a family of 3 only in this household, yes 3. It is a no no to not bring this kind of help when married, she will dump you in a jiffy. Now to make things clear, in this country we differ in so many ways than the west. We are a lazy society by nature, not due to the scorching hot weather, by our nature. We opened our eyes and found a certain helper taking care of the cleaning and washing in our house.

Over the years the nationality changed as the incomes and discoveries of new lands grew. In my days, and that was long ago, they were the africans coming for pilgrims that performed haj and never left. They would come in during the day and leave at night for a small amount of money( I think it was comparable to today if we put in place inflation). All I can remember was a huge ball of human moving with grace from one corner of the house to the other cleaning and fighting with mom day in day out. My mom would fight with them, until they leave her lonely, then she would beg them to come back for another day, and another fight.

She would command her in every little detail, as if she was actually her slave. I don’t say this to point out a cruel treatment, absolutely not, that’s another story( not in my home thank god) actually they were family, the ones that had a chore to do every day. We then started witnessing in the 80’s the arrival of the first batch of asians to our shores. This was new to us, cleaner and smarter I was told. Educated also, that is where most of our young population gets there first home education these last 20 years or so.

Maids and drivers are every woman’s nightmare here. I bet that most women cannot and will not get married if no maid is available in her house. They cook and clean and take care of her children while she goes about her ways from day to week.

After the divorce we split up and she got her maid( the most amazing cook ever and handyman) and I got to share my girls Nanny, who doubled as a personal helper at home, so that meant I get my home cleaned and my clothes washed and ironed 50% of the week, not bad I thought.

Then one day my little girl outgrew her childish ways and started to think, she decides when and where she wants to go, even if she decides to dump me for her little cousin for a week or 10 days, then remembers me. So, I, of all people can not sit in a dumpster of an apartment like other single men, I would die. So I tried not to use or dirty anything for as long as I could take it, then the weekend comes, and with it comes chaos. The next day is a nightmare to me, I quickly make myself a coffee and wear my cleaning clothes( I dont have any) and get to work, starting at the kitchen and making my way to the other areas. yes, I do mop the floors and take out the garbage.

The people from the west are thinking is this guy showing off? yes I am, it is the worst habit you can have in our area of the world, laziness of the worst kind! I make freinds with the doorman so he can pass by daily to pick up the Garbage after the fight with my neighbor on the location of the dumpster. I have been a decent shopper of basic survival needs, called my mother to learn how to operate basic units in my house, like the washing machine and the microwave.

We have fell to the lowest levels of helping our selves in history, I can now state proudly that I can and will survive without a maid.For more than 12 months I managed, and now, I am finally rewarded with a maid, a helper, a saver, a wonder woman, a self help buster, a black magical woman, she came and saved me. Now old habits have kicked in again and I tend to lose myself from time to time, I actually tell people how happy I am these days. I am planning to throw a party for her soon.

Enough of the wise guys remarks, I have a question for all the newly weds and single guys and girls out there, the area I am referring to is from Saudi Arabia and all over the Gulf region, The neighboring Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Egypt to an extent, basically the Arab world. The question is as follows, Can you or will you do the following for the next 12 month’s or worse yet 3 or 5 years? all your life?:

• Wash the dishes?
• Wash the toilet till it sparkles, 3 times a day?
• Clean the clothes?
• Iron the clothes, especially those Long thobes your husband wears and his head gear?
• Vacuum the carpets and shine the floor with dettol?
• Change the bed covers daily and wash them every once and a while?
• Beat the furniture to kill those little bed and couch bugs every other day?
• Take out the garbage and clean its place daily?
• Clean all those ashtrays daily?
• Cook and serve breakfast, lunch and dinner?
• Fix all the problems that any house has?
• Clean the AC filters?
• Prepare a dinner for the whole family gatherings every week and clean up after?
• Throw parties and clean it yourself?
• Clean the car inside and out daily?
• Drive everyone to their destination and pick them up after school?
• Have time for yourself?

I know that many civilizations laugh at our lifestyle and make fun of our lazy asses, sorry people of the world we failed this one, BIG TIME! but you can’t blame us, we were brought up like this, and will also pass it on to our children, until one day one of them starts a new cool thing called self sufficient households. Yes I know that in the west a family will consist of a doctor, a business woman, 3 children at school and they would manage to not have a maid, its a secret to many, to me its discipline and time management.

Now tell me, why do you treat them so bad when you need them so bad? I also question the real need, does it exist?or is it a simple fashion statement each one of you boys & girls need? Can you or did you ever be the sole servant and housekeeper of your own home? If yor answer is yes, I bow in respect, if no, why?

In our Arabic quotes we have a saying “ He who serves the people is their master” I second that and agree.

Have mercy on the rest of us.

P.S. I know all the husbands will never mind a helper like the one in the picture, I know I never complain!

Even if you suck at math, this monster will freak you out, and make you good in math wether you like it or not. Today I was with a friend of mine after a long day of moving like a yo-yo from place to place. What do you think about a quick bite I asked, yeah lets do that he agreed. Fuddruckers? sure.

We are seated at the bachelors section of course, no females allowed( actually were not allowed near the females) we know what we want, we order 2 (1/3) pound burgers, let me repeat that, two (1/3) burgers, one giant hot dog, and some spicy chicken wings. Yeah we were a bit hungry. I did notice that the waiter was over serving us, so I knew we were in for a bad experience! Its that gut feeling you get, when the waiter repeats your order more than 4 times.

First the wings arrive, all is good so far, then the drinks, cool I think. Now another waiter arrives with the main course items, the hot dog, ok I say, and I can tell from the treatment we are getting it was about to go south. I actually saw 3 waiters bring our order, or accompany the main man( our waiter). They throw the foldable table with grace, and place the 2 MONSTER burgers on it, then ask who has the cheese? and I just look at that burger and know its either I am seeing double vision, or this thing is BIG! he repeats our order when he see’s my tonsils due to my open wide mouth in fear!

“Two (2/3) burgers is your order right?” As I was not your average math guy, I started to pretend I knew which was bigger, a 1/3 or a 2/3, I know a 1/2 is somewhere in between those two sizes, I eventually give up and trust my instincts and know that SIZE MATTERS!, HELL NO! I scream, how dumb can you be? why would I think of eating a whole POUND of beef 2 hours before I die? He suddenly passes the blame with a stare at the junior guy who took our order. Just a minute ago they were gathering around us to see who the two dumb asses are? and someone did actually order that slab of beef in the freezer at LAST! they were gathered around us to witness history in the making, even better than mankind landing on the moon. I can imagine how many starving mouths we could have fed with one of those monsters?

We feel sorry for the guy and let him off the hook, cut it in half, and still looks big! I take a bite out of it, and I can tell I look ridiculous with my brain showing as i open my mouth, wider than the time I had my wisdom tooth pulled out( no it does not mean I am not wise anymore, well I do go numb sometimes, but what am I talking about in these parenthesis? let’s go back to the subject if you don’t mind). I feel the guilt before I swallow, a few more bites and I actually get up and head to the bathroom to wash my hands. Shocking site. We did get a 5% discount I think, to lure us into coming back for more in the morning, yummy.

As i sit here and type and look down on my 3 month pregnant stomaach, I ask why? all I wanted was to eat, now I’m pregnant!

Do you think I will ever go back to that place? you betcha! after maybe a few weeks, a few months at the gym, and maybe when I am invited over a mini version of that cow I consumed.

Ok guys, I think that’s it, enough…wait I can see the white line…..it’s getting brighter, OMG, now I can see clouds, angels, devils, a street called nightmare on burger street…oh! I just dosed off, must have been something I ate.

Mamdooh Al-Radadi

me@mamdoohalradadi.com

She celebrates her sweet 16 and wishes for her knight in shining armor, she tells no one about this ever so innocent and lovely secret. She imagines and swims in a sea of Crystal clear aqua blue waters, she knows the day is soon.

As she approaches her 17th birthday her family are getting ready to welcome a family interested in their sweet angel. She is excited, not knowing what to expect? Is there someone out there that wants me? is this the one? is this the man of my dreams? is it happening to me? I guess my dreams are materializing as i think. At last i will feel what it is like to be swept away, she innocently thinks.

The evening arrives and leaves like a train not stopping for anyone, all aboard that’s going aboard screams the clock. She sits eagerly with her family discussing the fine young man who has approached her, he wants to get to know her, he has come through the right channels the family thinks, he is worthy they assume, let’s see what she thinks? She accepts on the engagement to this fine young cannibal.

The days reveal that he is the one, they get married faster than the norm, she is swept away, or so she thinks. The Knight in shining armor has accomplished his mission, and this angel faced human beauty is his. She lies in his bed awaiting his landing, she waits for him after work like a mother awaits her children, she is hungry for his love, his passion, his safety, for he is a Knight in shining armor. Soon the reality starts to kick in, all fine marriages tend to do that, but here is what happens.

The shining armor seems to lose its shine and old cans of pepsi and coke are apparent, no steel/Iron or copper, just old cans ready for recycling. One day she could swear she saw his claws, another she glimpsed a fang as he laughed. She loves on, for that is what women and little girls do best, they love with all their might to weather out the storms ahead. 8 month’s pass and she is carrying his baby boy, she gets news that he is talking to some woman, or two, or few.

She never gave it much thought, she was too busy with the little one, she focused her positive energy to bring to life a young energetic boy, who would one day bring her to her knees when the Beast takes him a away, to show his manly powers. She refuses to fall victim to her friends gossip,” I can’t believe how you can cope up with him honey, he is all over town spreading the love” they say. “Let me be” she replies and cries alone at night.

Where is sweet 16 she thinks? what is taking over me? why am I losing my feelings and dreams? where has my love and man gone? is it the wind that swept it away, or is it my fault? yes its my fault, that’s what everyone is telling me, especially his mother. You see even beasts have mothers, they call them mother in laws. A beast is the eventual result of older Animals getting married, the only problem they don’t cage their animals, they let them loose on society.

She is young, with a kid, she loves him with all her heart literally, he uses him against her, he loses in the end. The son is shared as with civilized worlds. You see the beasts unintentional plans was to make a beast of this young angel boy, but since the other half of the equation is an angel, he couldn’t get away with his devilish plans.

Now with all the commotion and ups & downs of this beauties life, she forgets her feelings and never quite got what she held inside her. She always knew she was special, but couldn’t put a finger on it.

Due to the fact that angels are the creation of a mightier power, no angel could have demon blood in her. Her parents were a sweet couple trying to do the best for their sweet little thing, as any parents would. Decision was wrong they think out loud, we need to free our invisible winged angel, we are no match for this beast.

On the other side of town, the beast is in full control and on a roll, he is now dating more than 4 or 5 ladies of the night, in the name of good friends playing playstation till 5 in the morning. She was starting to get scared of catching a disease that could make her entangled wings fall off. She has her battles with all his demon family and the beast himself, she refuses to surrender her soul to the devil, she is a warrior in disguise.

The days and nights come and go, she is approaching her prime,ripe age of maturity, she escapes hell town, and makes it safely to her heavenly parents home. Many years of scar removal and surgical procedures and she is on her feet again, stronger, wiser, and in control of her destiny, I told you she was a warrior.

She starts to search again, she is so beautiful and has that magical magnetic force that seems to pull men towards her, she is in total control, she can separate the losers from the originals in a systematic push of a button. She finds her true self one day, and this is how I can best describe what goes on next; Our little beauty is a semi virgin island in the ocean, only 5% has been discovered, 95% is up for grabs to whoever knows how to please this angel.

Her man knows what he has found, he has been searching and lost tears and hearts before she appeared in his life. Once he thought it was never going to happen, it is now. He starts his exploration first by rediscovering the 5% that everyone once passed by, he removes the last signs of previous visitors and moves on. His caresses are slow and steady, his kisses ever so smooth, his emotions are nothing less than the real thing. After a month alone, he assures himself she is the one, she is so unspoiled, so naturally preserved, she really saved herself. This is going to be one life fulfilling experience he thinks with a smile on his face as he looks deep into her gorgeous eyes, she smile back in acceptance and totally surrenders. She lets go of her troops and dismisses her army, assuring them she is in safe hands.

Their journey begins with a touch that escalates to a soft kiss,their lips have so much to say in silence it scares them. He massages her soft skin with his strong hands that have vowed to be hers to fight off any harmful things that might come by her one day. He gets closer and closer to her untapped body, his temperature is rising by the minute, he wants to be part of her, he wants to bond, he can’t get his hands off her, she can’t seem to get enough of this spoiling mans touches, they grind and dance to the sweet smell of burning essence in the background. The sounds of her ocean waves turn him on, she is an island and he is her Christopher Columbus enjoying his discovery.

Tonight they make magic, they get swept away far from her shores,never looking back to find how far they are at sea, they become one, they make love endlessly, morning and night evening and noon, every spot has their marks, as if to say they were here, passion and sensual eruptions can be heard and felt from every corner of the surrounding islands. If there was a scale for the energy they produce when they make love the closest would be a richter, the reading 7.5.

She wakes up every day in his arms, smiles and whispers in his ears” where were you all my life” he smiles back’ searching for you my little beauty, now I have the rest of my life to enjoy you”

• May all the beasts of our planet be expelled to mars where they can reproduce and die there.
• May every angel sweet 16 have a happy ever ending, just like our favorite fairy tales.

Take me away, a secret place,A sweet escape, take me away
Take me away to better days. Take me away, a hiding place
I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine,I got a love and I know that it’s all mine, oh, oh oh oh
Do what you want but you’re never gonna break me,Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me

Mamdooh Al-Radadi

me@mamdoohalradadi.com

You know it, that mouth watering substance that could be as illegal as drugs on how it affects our mood when we want it. That moist, luscious delicious melt in your mouth not in your hands sweet. The varieties and shapes and sizes of this old human delicacy withstood the winds of change over thousands of years to arrive safely in the warmth of your mouth giving you that yes! feeling in less than a minute.

I am a big fan of chocolate and will continue to be one as long as my fitness and health levels are maintained to enjoy this never ending love affair. I have been a fan and follower of this chocolate movement from the early age of 3 I presume or earlier.

Chocolates history is a fine one which i will only mention it started as early as 1500BC and moved from the Olmecs to the Mayas then to the Aztecs then to spain after christopher Columbus then it was kept a secret from the rest of the world for over a century to keep the monopoly of cocoa trade their own.

Then suddenly Cocoa gains popularity as a medicine and aphrodisiac.

An Italian traveler, Antonio Carletti, discovers chocolate in Spain and takes it to Italy where chocolate-mania develops: Cioccolatieri open in all major cities. From Italy, chocolate spreads to Germany, Austria and Switzerland.

In 1659 The first chocolate house is opened in London by a Frenchman. Coffee houses were already popular. The shop is called the The Coffee Mill and Tobacco Roll. Costing 10 to 15 shillings per pound, chocolate is a beverage for the elite. The English introduced several changes: Instead of water, they added milk. Some also added Madeira or beaten eggs.

1861 Richard Cadbury creates the first known heart-shaped candy box for Valentine’s Day.

1865 The first gianduja is created in Italy: chocolate mixed with hazelnut paste.

1875 Daniel Peter of Vevey, Switzerland, who had developed an accidental interest in chocolate due to his affection for Fanny Cailler, the eldest daughter of chocolatier François-Louis Cailler, experiments for eight years before finally inventing, at age 31, a means of making milk chocolate, using condensed milk. The milk has been perfected by his neighbor Henri Nestlé, a food scientist.
1879 Daniel Peter and Henri Nestlé form the Nestlé Company, which later becomes the world’s largest producer of chocolate.

1895 Milton S. Hershey sells his first Hershey Bar in Pennsylvania, using modern, mass-production techniques that make chocolate affordable to the masses.

1900 Milton Hershey creates a town called Hersheyville dedicated to the production of chocolate. The specialty is the Hershey Kiss. Around 1900, the price of cacao and sugar drop tremendously, making chocolate affordable for the middle classes.

1922 Twenty-two years after Hershey’s kisses debut, Francesco Buitoni, a relative of the pasta family, launches Baci, Italian for kiss. His chocolate kisses have a hazelnut in the center.

1926 Belgian chocolatier, Joseph Draps starts the Godiva Company to compete with Hershey’s and Nestlé’s American market.

WOW! and i said i will try and make it short.

Anyway, In the early days when I was living in the states it was basically Hershey’s which i liked at that early age and my taste buds were addicted to that particular flavor.

Moving to England it was a shocking change to Cadburys chocolates with all their different brands and also the Mars company famous for the Snickers, Mars, Bounty and Milky way which brings us to Galaxy! The one chocolate that made the Arab world addicted by forced marketing and clever positioning including the only advertising campaigns that lasted more than 5 years if I am not mistaken.

Over a span of 10 to 15 years people seem to have forgotten the other finer brands of chocolate and when they need a quick fix they grab a Galaxy bar, to be honest you find them anywhere that sells anything unlike the finer brands.

Now I do enjoy a Galaxy every other month or so, but i have a finer taste in chocolate and sometimes prefer to wait to indulge. I do prefer the Lindt over Galaxy any day, but is that the best?? what about Godiva? is it a hype? is it real? yes it is is real!

Is there anything out there that is better than all of the above? well let me tell you something about chocolate and that is once a chocolate goes mass it loses some of its delicious and mouth watering powers, i could be wrong but I sure do believe my taste in chocolate.

I was passing by in a swiss airport last year and happened to notice a different kind of chocolate, not the Lindt that was murdering the airport space with its outlets, no a fine little box of premiere chocolate that has decided to sell some to the world market after 150 years of being a family business. Was it good? was it mouth watering? do I remember it? Guilty on all charges.

Then comes an Italian chocolate that kind of tastes like Nutella, but is not Nuttela. They come in little oblong triangular shapes covered in a golden wrapper and just knock me off of my feet! what is the name? i can’t seem to remember but i will find out and post it somewhere after eating a whole box.

You see me and chocolate combined together make that love affair you know look like puppy love!

Do you love chocolate?