Breaking the walls
In a cluttered world filling up with more complications to this oh so simple and wonderful life, we find ways to cut through the clutter. We first start to look inside before we look out, we start to peel our layers to get to the buried long forgotten truth we hold in some safe inner sanctuary, all that for a decision based upon inner approvals.
We face life head on wether we are in bed killing the day or out in the fields farming and making a living. We peel away year after year and wish we could peel faster, little do we know that as time goes by we solidify our inner treasurers, our real deal, and give some selected few someones skeleton keys with a lifelong period. All others will have to prove worthiness of such benefits.
Life moves, people come and go, days seem to be on kick down, changes occur and become the norm, love happens, your heart is taken for a thrill ride on some never charted dangerous waters without safety nets,”Every man for himself” screams the neon warning up ahead! we all love thrill rides to some degree, the scared souls seem to settle down with the first sign of happiness. The thrill seekers seem to become the christopher Columbus of their own seas, they either hunt or get hunted down and sink their fleet.
When each one gets the list of wants and needs for the following years, its all you can eat buffet time! depending on ones greed people fall upon the options as if they were sealed away in some ancient dungeon deprived of minimal human needs. The list consists of choices like being wanted, needed, loved, looked after, beautiful, different, everyone wants to be different, yet we all love the basics.
As time flies by faster than you wanted it to, you look in your rear view mirror and start looking back as your face changes moods in milli seconds to each feeling you get looking back. The laughs, tears, joy, happiness, feelings, successes, wins, misses, people, places, personal victories, defeats, moves, craziness, the ones that got away, the ones the let you go and thats life!
People come visiting every once in a while into your space, they come check you out, say hi, perhaps have coffee, get to know you only a bit better, but they always say we thought we knew you, then you both go further apart and see if you miss them, and so on. You go visiting, we all need people you know. You come across many, thousands of people in your living years, and you seem to attract certain people depending on many factors.
The attraction meter can be controlled by you in many cases, so you attract and distract based upon personal taste and requirements, you also fall into other peoples scan zones, people looking, searching for that one in 6 Billion, what are the odds of finding the right answer to yourself? imagine a jigsaw puzzle with 6 billion pieces and you had to fit somewhere, keep looking, unless you already fit, don’t move someone is looking for you to complete the picture.
When you think you know someone, when you say your sure, when you say I have it figured out, when you say all of those things, ask yourself this; Which layer did I reach in this persons life, how deep did I penetrate? am I close? will she/he let me access more? have I reached a wall? what do I need to do to know more? if you really want something, I guess you should continue digging and never stop the discovery of someone else’s real self. The problem with us is we all fall into the know it all category.
When the danger sirens are turned on and a new layer has been breached, you have reached new frontiers, the penetrated soul will attack to defend its grounds and then be tamed like a wild stallion if they like you, otherwise you will be surrounded and thrown out to the front gates, just like everyone else, depending on how much you want IN you charge forward and use tactics and strategies to move on and in.
Depending on the age and experiences each one of us has, our layers laid one over the other should spell how safe one is, problem is…you can never tell or see such hidden layers, only at very close interactions are they revealed and for small windows in time, then they shut down automatically again. Day in day out people come and visit and get shut down, some are given chances, some are forever forgotten, its as easy as that.
When you judge me, take a closer look, maybe that Mona Lisa is not that after all, maybe the generosity and kindness of Mother Teresa is actually the devil in disguise, maybe the father figure is just a con artist on the run form a previous break in, maybe the playboy is just a front for a loving family man, maybe you are not what you are, maybe I am exactly what I look like and act like? maybe we are all in a big playground needing some love, fun and affection?
I still stand strong with my beliefs and ideas, yes it only took me a life to get here, but you see I only get one, this is no video game with a reset button, its one chance, one big trial and error period, over time I found that I love to fail, the more I fail the more I know, the more I know the better and clearer I see, the wiser I become, the less mistakes in choices occur, the layers grow, one by one, heavier, thicker, more high tech, more dynamic adapting to change as I grow each day, I still stand.
When you want me, take me, for I am yours, but before you lock me down, take a closer look and make sure I am the right one, for I too seek in this cluttered world, and I too have the option to choose, and when I decide its time to move on, you will be nothing more than an image in my rear view mirror, accept that and move on, you had your chances, just like everyone else, stop being selfish, and one more thing; Thanks for the lesson, I owe you. Now let me see the door, I think its the new contractor here to build a new wall ;-)
mamdooh.alradadi just before heading to work on 12/5/2010
me@mamdoohalradadi.com
Lost & Found To whom it may concern
What negative and sordid way to go about living life!!! would one continue to live like this if someone told him he only had 2-3-4-5-6 months to live? in this cold and calculating manner?
1) Is he so perfect and faultless, that he feels he has the right to just throw people around life, hurt them, build walls ?
2) he cannot advise to stop being selfish when he is exercising utmost selfishness
3) judge and be judged not this is for God Alone.
4) we all have the option to choose, but other peoples lives are not a game or toy in our hands to play with when we feel like, and then when he decides he wants another toy, just throw you away.
5) too much focus on faults of a person and never seeing the good, Mr, are you an angel?
This is the sanctity of human life and relationships, trust and bonds, we have been given, we cannot and should not abuse it. Its a privilege and not a right.
Being a revert to Islam, such behavior would almost make me cry “hypocrisy!” and make me abandon a religion of peace and mercy, when its followers prove and practice the absolute opposite.
Athena, you have a really sick mind, sorry but you could only see through your very narrow angel on life. You seem to be dis-oriented and have serious issues, I pity you on looking at it from one angle, I assure you if you read it one more time, this time being awake, you will understand that what you write has no relationship in any way to what I wrote, thanks for visiting ;-)
*angel=angle